Living with another human can be challenging especially when the world is being turned upside down. Elevated Cortisol and stress could cause many couples to feel like their living space might be too small. We are here to let you know there are many many ways to reconnect with your partner. Co-Creating harmony in your home begins with you, and then your partner/lover. We have come to you from a place of peace, we are centered, nurtured, loving and grounded. You asked for this information, if it has found its way to you or your home, it means you are ready, awake, and open to new ideas. Take a deep cleansing breathe, relax your body, feel the love wash through every cell of your being. You are here for a reason, use this precious time to reconnect with your beloved and Co-create a sacred space for just the two of you.
Top 9 way to upgrade your relationship
1. Get Kinky!
(in a positive healthy way, that upgrades your spirit)
Thought we would ease into it...nope, why not start with sexy time?
Having a deep connection with your lover is healthy in so many more ways than you even know! Connect spiritually/physically/mentally/emotionally all through sex. We are not sexperts, but we are practicing for sure.
We have a secret we want to share with you. Her name is Kim Anami. She is the worlds’ leading expert on all things SEXUAL. Kim explains “The essentials for lifelong, passionate sex, and how to use your intimate relationship as a vessel for spiritual growth.” Now is not the time to be shy, when you can open up to your partner and Co-create or Re-create a romantic love affair your whole world can change. Don’t you want to walk around grounded in bliss, feeling so much love and share that with someone? Sounds good to me, actually that is my reality. Find Kim here online. https://kimanami.com. You can take a course, watch videos, listen to a podcast, read about a gazillion blog posts and learn so much about your body that i'm certain no one has ever taught you (unless you were raised by hippies ;) You and your lover are a center of power, why can’t we rearrange the “old puritan belief system” and shout from our rooftops that religious dogma has no place telling us how to view our bodies and sex! Lets begin by raising our vibes through our sexual encounters, its magic...see what happens.
2. PUT RED LIGHTS IN YOUR BEDROOM
You may have seen therapeutic red lights being talked about in the health and wellness world recently. What is that all about? Find out here.
(Not only are red lights therapeutic for your health & healing, they can be very seductive in the bedroom. Ever wonder why they call it the “red light district”? They create an atmosphere of relaxation and sensuality. If your partner isn’t up for changing out all your bedroom lights, just them it's for sexy time. Red light is way better than blue light for your circadian biorhythms and really that is the only spectrum of light we should be seeing after sunset.
click here to read the whole shebang (no pun intended) about the link between red light and circadian biology. Ever wonder why the setting sun is mostly reds, pinks, orange? That is nature's way of telling your eyes/body to produce melatonin. If you put blue lights into your eyes after sunset you are telling your body mixed signals. This can lead to sleep disturbances, weight gain and many other problems. So, my friends, replacing your light bulbs with red bulbs is not only great for your sexy time and sleep, it’s so powerful for your overall health optimization. We recommend Gembared (discount code sleep) and Flexbeam (Discount code primalhacker) lights as both therapeutic and for lighting at night.
3. Tape your mouth
Have you heard of this latest fad? Taping your mouth shut at night might just be your husband's dream come true...just kidding. We women do like to communicate but ladies there is a time and place for it. Seriously though some people have a lot of success with taping their mouths at night, so they breathe through the nose. Studies show that this can lead to better night's sleep and increased morning alertness for many people. It does look pretty sadistic and crazy.
I remember when Thaddeus started taping his mouth, he looked over at me and he had on his sleep mask, ear plugs and now mouth tape. OMG we laughed for a half an hour. He is very committed to his sleep and that also says a lot about his commitment to our relationship. If he's that committed to sleep, then he can show up better to us. Pretty cool. I'm very grateful everyday for his commitment to sleep, so he keeps a calm cool state of being even in stressful situations.
Want to know more about the mouth tape click here for a good quick read all about it. Mouth Taping: The Cheapest Life Hack for Better Sleep
Improvements can be feeling more well rested, not getting up to use the bathroom.
One other thing I learned while writing this article...mouth tape section in particular, is the Butekyo Method. It's a very gentle breathing technique that I have found to be pretty profound just in the first few days of discovery. Some of the other breathing techniques we have tried are of course Wim Hof, yogic breathe. Oftentimes the techniques feel very aggressive, but the Buteyko method is gentle. Here is a link to the TED talk about it. I have been using the Butekyo method in my morning routine and I'm really enjoying it. If you have any trouble meditating or are just starting out, might be a great place to start.
Consistency is key here friends. One habit we practice, that is super simple is going to bed together. By retiring together you are actually making a commitment that you cherish your time together then it becomes sacred.
If one of you decides to stay up and god forbid watch TV, or look at your phone. What you're actually saying is that thing, whatever it is, is more important. Ladies am I wrong? We all want more romance in our lives. We all want more love in our lives. Tonight go to bed together and make it a habit. You have to protect your sacred time together.
Next we TANK THE TECH. 99% of the time we never bring phones or computers or tv into our sacred sleeping chamber. Our bedroom is used for two things...hahaha and one is sacred sleep! We pillow talk, we meditate, we read a lot and we sleep! Bringing tech into the sleeping chamber kills the mood, instead set yourself up for success. If your significant other refuses, tell them you just want some time to ...I don’t know give him a mind bending blow job! You may get his attention pretty damn quick! Link Here is a Kim Anami link for your educational purposes.
WHAT IS ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND? What does your room say about you, your relationship?
I also work as an Interior Designer part time (email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you want pricing) and you would be surprised by the amount of people who put photos of family members on their bedroom walls. In the Feng Shui tradition only photos of you and your beloved belong in the bedroom. Here's another tip, whatever you put on one side always put on the other. The key here is balance and partnership harmony. Clear the clutter, dim the lights, use candles, essential oil diffusers, get some sexy sheets ( organic cotton or bamboo) to create an atmosphere that shows outward how much love you have for yourself and your beloved. They will appreciate it.
Whatever is on your nightstand is the last thing you see before you go to sleep. Make sure it is something relaxing, soothing. Bringing the NY Times into the bed isn’t a great idea. Fiction novels and spiritual texts are great things to read to engage your dream time. When you are well rested you can show up better to your partner. Lead by example, prioritize sleep. If your partner wants sexy time and you know you need sleep, cuddle them and explain how much better it might be in the morning when you're well rested. Keep that promise whatever it takes.
5. Do Something Neither One of you has Ever Done Before, Together
What more is there to say? When you experience something together for the first time, you bond and share in that experience, this in turn creates memories and strengthens the entanglement between you.
Einstein talked about quantum entanglement, or “spooky action”, that when two things come into contact with each other they are forever entangled, the more you create this with your partner the more entangled you are. I love that! Just the imaginary notion of being entangled with my lover under the covers legs intertwined not knowing where one person begins and the other ends all tangled in their whispers and kisses is the perfect ending to the first thought of spooky action and entanglement. So, thank you Einstien I will romance the shit out of your “spooky action”
One thing we did recently is experience a float tank together, we were in separate pods, but experienced it together at the same time slot. We highly recommend doing this on a date night! We talked all the way home about our experiences, they were so different even though the environment was the same. Really cool!
Another thing we just did was find a new spot to jump into a really cold stream together. We have done that in the past but this time neither of us had ever been to that particular stream or at the spring equinox. We actually started a new tradition.
If you live in a warmer part of the country you can get a stock tank fill it with cold water, ice...and both jump in together! Just an idea. Think outside the box. Make a list of things you can do together for the first time. This is a great time to ditch the kids. They get a lot of your attention all-the-time! Take this time for you and your partner to do this new experience together. The kids will be fine with a babysitter and they can learn from you how to harness loving escapades you take together. The glow on your face when you return is the best thing you can do for them. Protect your time together.
6. Love & Respect
What women want and what men want are two seemingly different things but quite similar if you break it down.
Women want to be loved, guys really are you surprised? In everything you do, if you do it with love, you will be greatly rewarded. (wink)- I'm actually serious, if you ask your beloved to pick up dogshit in the yard, do it with love. You might be pleasantly surprised at the reaction you get. WOMEN NEED AND WANT LOVE, TO BE LOVED, TO FEEL CHERISHED AND HONORED. We are the givers of life, we used to be cherished as such. That doesn’t mean we get to act like princesses however. Loving your woman will bring her natural hormones to levels they are supposed to be. Read more about this by John Grey.
Do these things 10 times a day to change your life. Hold her hand, touch her, kiss her, massage her shoulders, when you walk in the door find her first (before kids and dog) and hug her for 8 secs min, make her coffee/tea, dance with her, introduce her first, always help with her coat, open her door( all of them...cars too), pour her wine, tell her how you feel about her (Insert cheesy BillyJoel song…”tell her about it”), text her you love her, call her tell her you love her, leave her a note and ...yes you guessed it let you know how much you love her. If you do this your life will change. Here’s the key, never stop doing this for the rest of your life together. Or in the after life either. Haha
Quick story, we were at our friends home about a year ago, just a casual visit with appetizers and some vino ( Dry Farm Wines is biohacker approved and you get a bottle for a penny, if you are local to the Twin Cities you can get into the Healthy Wine Club from Swirl) (If you haven’t tried wine from DFW, might want to look into it.. They test for toxins, never add sugar, you really have to drink like three bottles to get a hangover….)
I digress, we were having wine, and Thaddeus took a gluten free cracker and added some beautiful cheese to it, I watched across the island as I couldn’t reach any of the food. I observed if he was going to offer it to me or eat if for himself. He was going to eat it! I thought this might be a good time for a little social experiment. I love social experiments. I sometimes feel like my whole life is filled with moments of social and personal experiments. Again I digress.
He was going to eat it!, and not offer it or anything else to me. So I piped up and reached across the island and took it gently out of his hands and looked him in the eyes and said “oh you are so sweet to make that for me” He seemed a bit taken off guard for a split second, then quickly responded and “of course for you, my love”
My friend looked at me wildly and said “WOW” I'm gonna try that out loud in front of everyone. We all started laughing. But in reality I could tell they learned something from that little experiment that evening.
For the rest of the night and many evenings after that Thaddeus always finds me brings me a cracker or glass of wine first, as an honor. I in return give (by showing & using my words) him ultimate gratitude and respect.
The teaching moment has to be done ->in the moment. If you ever try a social experiment with your beloved, be sure you leave any resentment at the door. It must be done with love and with men, respect.
Even if he loses his phone and we have to drive 3 ½ hours to go look for it in Northern Minnesota, you smile and tell him it's ok, well have a fun adventure. Always with respect. Then make it enjoyable, could be another perfect time for a mind blowing blow job. Just saying.
Men quite honestly like the idea of love, but it isn’t earth shattering like it is for us women. Ladies, Men want respect. I learned this from...experience, social experiments, Cleopatra, a class I took online and John Gray. It’s kinda cheesy, but it works. What I learned has been invaluable when interacting with all the men in my life, first and foremost my lover, my sons, my father and any male I encounter actually. Always with respect. Try it out, try a social experiment for yourself.
Another friend of mine tried it for herself, first with her words alone. Everything she uttered was from a sincere place of respect. Within a couple days her husband of 7 years, who never texted her anything in the last 3 years that was loving, out of the blue wanted to come home from work early to give her a back rub for taking such good care of the kids all day. Whoa, that was quick! I'm telling you if you want more LOVE from your man, start by using only RESPECT with your words and actions. Your life will change rapidly. Your home will become a place of peace, love and respect. It's a practice, it will take time, then it will become a habit. Ladies, you are the leaders of the home whatever you do the ducklings will follow suit. Treat men with great respect. Teach your daughters to do the same and teach her why. This is the path for great romance and a beautiful future.
7. Build a fort together
We say this to protect your space. We already talked about sleep and using your bedroom as a sacred sleeping chamber.
Us biohackers take it a bit further, we build a fort. This isn’t just any fort, it is the most peaceful sleeping chamber. The curtains you see in the image are made from silver thread.
This material will keep harmful EMFs from entering your sleeping chamber. Thaddeus and I both worked on this together, we put our loving energy into building it. We built it for our health out of love and our love of restorative sleep. Under our mattress we have magnetico magnets as well. That makes a contained EMF free zone.
Getting primal sleep is key. We know the EMF building biologists install these into homes and people are able to get off their meds because they finally get 8 hours of peace, without the microwave fields everywhere.
8. Look into each other's eyes, and ditch your sunglasses...
Yes, we said ditch your sunglasses. “But they look cool” -->doesn’t matter... if you're not getting sunlight in your eyes/skin, you can't achieve optimal health. Here is the down low.
Do you think maybe you’ve been designed to use the light of the sun in any way? You, the plants, the animals all live under the light of the sun.
It seems silly that the sun would be toxic to you. It’s warm and inviting. Staying out in the sun feels good.
You think the sun is healthy and likely your body was designed in some way to use sunlight? More than you could ever know!
Do you think sunlight is a cue to help you remain healthy? Sure seems that way. It also tells you what time of day it is. What you might not know is that your body, your brain, and your eye also need to know what time of day it is. Your brain tells your organs what time of day it is. Sunlight gives you that information. Thaddeus wrote a this genius blog on wearing sunglasses (blueblockers) at night. Click here to read the rest of the article.
No one in history has kept their eyes and skin from the light of the sun. Who began this nonsense...companies who want you to be sick and unhealthy, so they can make money off of you. Not joking folks we've all been duped by these a-holes. There is a protocol for safe sun exposure. It's free and it has nothing to do with sunscreen or sunglasses!
Lastly, not only is covering up your eyes bad for your health, it's the window to the soul. Looking in your lover’s eyes is very important for relationship health. Where is your attention, are you fully present for your lover? Or is your attention elsewhere, what does that say about your relationship? I know I don’t like it at all when I can't see Thaddeus’s eyes, (when he's wearing his red blue blockers late at night). When making love, don’t we want our lover to look into our eyes? The connection deepens beyond worlds and words. There are so many reasons to ditch your sunglasses. We get a lot of people asking questions about contacts, driving and wearing sunglasses...follow our IG page @primalhacker_ for more information. In the meantime, let your lover see your eyes, they are beautiful, play games with them. Paint them dark or sparkly, but please don’t hide their beauty from the world and more importantly your lover.
9. Sprint! I mean run like your life depends on it!
Because we are “Primalhacker” we can say “RUN as if you're running for your life, like running away from liger!” Ok we’ll call it primal movement. Want to feel sexier when you're naked? This little hack is priceless. If you have the capacity, sprinting 2-3 x’s a week and working your way up to 5-6 x’s a week is a great way to stay in shape. Ancient peoples didn’t run for long distances/run marathons, they walked long distances or sprinted short distances.
Check out this photo of a marathon body and a sprinter
One article suggests the combo of intermittent fasting and exercising until you’re “out of breath”. “Here’s a suggested protocol that we here subscribe to (for the warm months of the year if you live up north). Find a well maintained soccer or athletic field that is devoid of anything but soft grass, or find a nice beach. There’s added benefit if you also sprint barefoot.
Mark off about 100 yards. Sprint as hard and as fast as you can for the 100 yards, or whatever you’re capable of. You will be totally out of breath, then walk back to your starting place, you’ll recover your breath on the way back, then do it all again. In the beginning you may only be able to do this 2-3 times, build up to 5-6 times twice a week. Make this a habit for life.” Here's a link to the full article. http://fitcommerce.com/2019/10/10/stay-youthful-by-biohacking-your-hgh-through-sprinting/
The moral of the story is when you feel sexier you feel more like having sexy time! When you look better ->you feel better-> you can show up better in bed with your lover! So sprint for you and your health. The coolest thing about this hack is that you aren’t spending long hours in the blue light gym, we would call this overworking in a toxic environment! I don’t know about you, but when I workout for over an hour I'm trashed the rest of the day, then I for sure can’t show up for sexy time. If you work your joints too much you're going to put yourself at risk later in life likely with hip and knee replacements. So, do less. Be gentle with yourself, SPRINT! if it feels right for you!
We also recommend doing as the children do. If you have kids and you bring them to the park and they are running around, then run around with them! If you go to the state parks and they climb under a fence, then climb under the fence! Don’t forget to be young. Move like children and see what magic happens!
This is the best hack for your relationship. We haven’t missed one time since we started this habit. Here is how you do it. EVERY MORNING and EVERY EVENING before you go to bed AND when you wake up, tell your partner one thing you appreciate about them. Not joking every morning and every night!
Here's why, when you tell your lover what you appreciate you acknowledge that you are conscious of the big and small things! Your lover will start or end their day with you appreciating something they never even knew you noticed. How cool is that?
If you begin this process it will become a habit and throughout the day you will start to think of things you appreciate about your partner! Instead of focusing on something they aren’t doing, focus on what you want more of.
One example, I love when Thaddeus touches me in the kitchen, and throughout the day. So, I will tell him before bed how much I appreciate it when he touches me as he’s brushing by me in the kitchen and guess what? He will do it more!!!! THIS IS GOLD PEOPLE. He in return tells me how much he appreciates it when I make him lunch, guess what? I make him lunch more often and with more and more love everytime!!
Give it a try, you have nothing to lose.
It’s time for you to stop reading this blog and